as I look up

Today
I am grateful for a Father who taps me on the shoulder
as I look up through tear-blurred eyes from a morning's ruins
to remind me that He is present with me in the chaos
and that His peace is mine
before I even to think to ask for it.

Gearing up

We are firmly in November now, folks. I can't believe it. It's cold enough in the house that if I sit too long I get shivery (thanks a lot, gorgeous high ceilings). Jeremy's and my birthday is next week. Soon, all this talk about beautiful leaves and pumpkin lattes is going to feel like a dream.

Christmas has been on my radar more this year than ever before. I think the reason is, is that I have been doing a lot of work this summer and fall in the kitchen, canning fruits and veggies (and sauces and jams and, and, and) for Christmas gifts. We haven't got the whole Christmas club thing down (will we ever grow up?), and that, among other financial woes, makes each Christmas feels very lean. It can take all the fun out of it. And, might I mention, the heart of it.

Sidenote: I really, really hope this planning and work making gifts comes through in the end. So many times I feel like it's not expensive enough (although in matters of time, it certainly was), that I end up wanting to supplement with something that we actually buy. That really won't be an option this year, so I'm just going to have to be okay with it. I put so much of myself into the process, so I'm hoping that the gift in their hand feels valuable.

Anyway, I've been seeking after God in this build up to Christmas and the Advent season, even now in orange and pumpkin filled November. What a holy, miraculous, breath-taking time it is, leading up to the miracle (and joy, and wonder) of Christ's birth. I hope I can share that with my family, and usher the worship of Jesus into our home this season, in the midst of (the sometimes distracting) candies and trees and presents.

Anyone else feeling the call to the Advent season yet? It's still early...there are many pumpkin pies to traverse before we get to cookies and fudge and peppermint hot chocolate and candy canes and...

p.s. I think I'm going to buy this book. The writer is fantastic, and I'm wondering if it might be really, really good.

Monday will find you

It's cold and rainy here today. 

Yesterday was gorgeous. We took a long-anticipated trip to the St. Louis zoo, which was...fun. And a lot of work with these two boys of ours.

But today it feels miserable inside and out. While the activities yesterday drew the boys attention from their challenging developmental seasons: Josiah has 6 teeth coming in SLOWLY, and E is doing his 3-going-on-14 thing, and both boys have runny noses with volumes of mucus beyond understanding, so being home today has put that behavior under a microscope. 

Anyway. Monday has certainly followed us into Tuesday. And mommy is drinking mass amounts of black tea (and surreptitiously eating bite size brownies in the kitchen) to keep her energy (and spirits!) up.

I hope that your day is going better :) And that mine ends with baths and early bedtimes for all.

give me Jesus

In the morning, when I rise

In the morning, when I rise

In the morning, when I rise

Give me Jesus

Give me Jesus

Give me Jesus

You can have all this world

Just give me Jesus

Oh, when I am alone

Oh, when I am alone

Oh, when I am alone

Give me Jesus

Give me Jesus 

Give me Jesus

You can have all this world

Give me Jesus

Give me Jesus

Oh, when I come to die

Oh, when I come to die

Oh, when I come to die

Give me Jesus

Give me Jesus

Give me Jesus 

Give me Jesus

You can have all this world

Give me Jesus

Give me Jesus

In the midst of a morning baking with my kids, planning with my husband, dealing with details here and there about small happenings...

I am somberly thankful for the reminder that these days aren't permanent. That even the things and persons I hold most dearly in my heart will fade, and that only one Person will remain... Praying today for a heart that is fixated on Jesus and on the big, wide world and realities that go beyond my little house. And--

Oh, Lord-- that my boys would someday sing this, with arms outstretched to You.

(Song lyrics from this group. Beautiful rendition of an already beautiful hymn.)

still alive. also: books.

Just a little note that I, and we, are still alive over here. This last month has been a blur of potty training, housework, potty training, little day trips, canning berries. Did I mention potty training? We've only been doing it a week, but it feels like, much, much longer. I finally convinced Jeremy to hire out our lawn care. He's been working days AND nights, and has been running ragged for some time now. It will feel good to both of us to take even just one thing off of his plate. My summer of childcare is over, as my mother-in-law is heading back to work soon. How I'm going to work on my thesis now, I don't know, but it's going to have to happen.

Anyway. Too much going on in our lives to mention here. Feeling tired, but I get the feeling that this busyness is just part of a short season, so I'm just praying that we can power through with some semblance of grace, remembering to grasp hold of His joy.

Hey-- by the way, want some book recommendations? Just finished up reading this one. Currently reading this and this. Really, really want to read this. I've put it in my cart and taken it back out about a dozen times, because I'm hesitant to spend the money. I'll get the nerve one of these days, hopefully well before the holidays.

Hoping for a restorative weekend, for you and for me.

Lately--

Working on my thesis down in Paducah. Those are long days.

Our new local farmers market. It's right next to a park.

(blue eggs)

Father's day

First birthdays celebrated with good friends

And weddings too

It's been a crazy busy summer so far, but in looking at these pictures, I'm reminded of how good it's been. How blessed we are to have all these lovely people so close to us.

(Some of these pictures have been taken by others-- the last three from the farmers market by Brandon Macier, and Josiah's birthday picture by Omar and Mayumi Trinidad. More birthday pictures to follow.)

busy summer days

Isn't it supposed to be "lazy" summer days?

Well, if it's supposed to be, it hasn't been. I've had a couple more items on my plate lately: the local farmers market that I get to help with, Josiah's first birthday party (pictures soon!), Father's Day (also pictures forthcoming!), and more work than normal with organizing our little raw milk co-op. But mostly, it's been working on my thesis. I'm feeling totally overwhelmed/sick to my stomach/more hopeful about it lately, and I've been getting time to work on it when I go down to Paducah, KY to have my mother-in-law watch the kids. I have my first meeting with my thesis director next week for the first time in years, which is good and bad. Good because it means progress is being made. Bad because I have to meet with her in person, and there won't be time to look up in the dictionary the words and theories she brings up in conversation. She is crazy smart, and I feel like I can barely keep up with her email messages, much less an informed (supposedly, on my part) conversation face-to-face.

It was nice to be busy, at first. It made me feel a little more important than usual. Now I'm just tired. Is this how other people live during the entire year? Goodness. No thanks. I'll take a season, and that'll be plenty.

How are your summers progressing? It's going to be the 4th of July before we know it...