it's been awhile

We've been all around lately, and are focused focused focused on the house and thesis right now. And so I have lots to post and share, but no time right now to share it.

But there is one thing I'd like to share, this post by a blog that I follow. I loved the imagery and message of what she wrote this morning and thought you all might like it too.

summer days--

Well, this has been an interesting week. A few highlights:

1. Our church conference last week was a lot of fun, and it was so good to have people from all our (6) churches together in the same room. It just puts us all on the same page again. And God, as always, was so good to us, the collective us, and the me and Jeremy us.

2. I got shingles this week. On my face. Yes, you read that right. Nobody ever told me how weird pregnancy can be. I don't even want to discuss the other weird things that I've experienced so far, but let me just say this is the fourth time I've been on antibiotics since I've been pregnant.

3. This is the first month that I have had absolutely no money coming in from my work, and Jeremy and I have been a little, er, nervous about it, since right now we are totally not making enough from just his salary, especially since we have a house AND an apartment. And then, ta da! God came through with a huge bonus through Jeremy's work that covered the difference. It's so crazy. We're currently having faith for His help in our finishing the house, and I feel like this is His way of showing us that we have absolutely nothing to fear. I feel so encouraged. And really, it's just super cool how He does stuff. So I'm kind of impressed too. Ha. He is pretty impressive.

4. This weekend is our trip to Bloomington, IL to hang out with some friends. We'll take a day trip up to Chicago one of the days and generally just hang out with some really solid, fun friends that we've known for awhile. I actually went to high school with them, although we were NOT friends then. We re-met through the church and just felt really connected to each other and now try to get together as much as possible. We're really looking forward to it. It will be the only summer vacation we have, since Jeremy is saving his vacation for the when Baby comes and has to spend the weekends working on the house anyway, and of course, there is the financial situation :-) We can't wait. I think I've been successful at talking them into hitting up one of Rick Bayless' restaurants. Huzzah!

feeling the love

Mom came back from her vacation in CA toting a couple of fun things for Baby, a CUTE book from Aunt Crystal by Charley Harper

and a full length bib made from vintage fabric from Mom!

adorable--

And then waiting in my mailbox for Baby (and me) was a package.

My lovely friend Beth knitted my boy some adorable hats that make me sweat to think about now, but will be absolutely perfect for that little soft head come wintertime.

I'm about 25 weeks now, feeling (and seeing!) the little one move and grow. I've gotten to that really fun part of pregnancy, where the daydreams about him grow more frequent (along with trips to the bathroom), and feeling more and more special about being so close to our baby. I can't wait to meet him, sure, but I'm so enjoying this in-between time too.

feeling better.

The last post up is a sad one, one that I wrote about a week and a half ago. Everything in life felt really, really hard. That Friday, as Jeremy and I stumbled heartbroken into our weekend, God showed up and reminded us of His love and presence. And, in true God-style, He overdid it, and Jeremy and I came out of the weekend completely refreshed, grateful, and so in love with our Dad.

Things have not changed, however, because that weekend was not about change, in situation anyway. It was a change of sight; He opened our eyes, again, to His plan and purpose for our lives in the present tense, and gave us the grace and strength, again, to handle all of the hard things we are currently experiencing.

I am so, so grateful. And I know Jeremy is too.

Things since then have been busy; I've taken over the financial paperwork and bill paying to give Jeremy a break as he is pulled in every other direction. That's been pretty interesting; math is not my strong suit, but organizing is, so I'm doing my best. This includes a budget that we came up with, which I don't think either of us have ever done, and which has been difficult. Good, but difficult. I'm still trying to read for my thesis, which is not going quickly at all (boo.), unfortunately. And Jeremy is still working on the house, leading small group for the church, and trying to keep up with a very busy schedule at work. And, we're both getting to know our little man, so active in my belly.

Also, I've been cooking. We are a part of a CSA this summer, which is a lot of fun but also very different as far as not having control over what we're "buying" for the week. I have been trying very hard to be adventurous and try everything (or almost everything) at least once.

This is a beet salad I made that is one of Giada's recipes. It was... okay. Here's the thing: I don't like beets. They taste "earthy," which basically means it tastes like dirt, no matter how long you cook it or how well you "caramelize" them. If you like beets though, go for it. The salad was entirely edible. HOWEVER, if you are pregnant, you should not try this. It took me awhile to figure out, but I confirmed my malady online: beets fall into the same, er, category as cauliflower, broccoli, etc. So, proceed at your own risk. Or, your husband's risk. Whichever.

We got basil a couple of weeks ago, which I immediately turned into pesto, a glorious, wonderful pesto. As I was eating a pasta made with that pesto, tossed with grilled, shredded chicken and Farmer's Market zucchini and squash, I thought, "Pesto just may be my favorite food." And it's so versatile! I didn't have any pine nuts (and they certainly weren't in my grocery budget for the week!) so I used some raw macadamia nuts that I had wasting away in the crisper. It was lovely. Still is: a small bunch made five servings. Guess what's for dinner tomorrow...

And then we had Thai basil the next week, which we didn't like. It has a distinct anise taste and scent, which both Jeremy and I can't stand. I used it in a stir fry that I've been making: grilled chicken, red bell pepper, and some CSA Swiss chard. Jeremy picked it all out, and I would have too, if I hadn't decided to give it a fair chance. I threw it away later though.

Something else I made this week (actually just last night) was a cherry clafoutis. I got the recipe out of one of my cookbooks, but recipes for clafoutis are online everywhere. I've also made it with blueberries, which is also fabulous. I look forward to cherry season every year for clafoutis.

So I've been busy, but good, enjoying the adventure of our CSA box and the confines of eating organic, real food on a tighter budget. Definitely an adventure.

Gotta go-- need to make dinner! I got a pound of grass-fed ground beef for hamburgers for this week--Jeremy's favorite--but just used 3/4 of the pound and added some cooked lentils to bulk it up. Not bad, and Jeremy was a good sport about my bastardizing his beloved hamburgers. And now I've got a 1/4 pound for taco salad tonight! Yay!

spring

My new favorite lunch: toasted honey whole wheat bread, a thick slather of goat cheese, warm roasted grape tomatoes, and big pieces of avocado, all topped with fresh basil, salt and pepper. On the side is zucchini, picked up at the Farmer's Market this weekend. It tastes like Spring and the fulfillment and payoff of a cold, dark winter.

This has been a weird week. I thought Jeremy and I were in a hard place already, and then yesterday the ground sort of shifted... and we're in an even harder place, or at least it seems like it. I know that God is in control (HE, thankfully, reminded me of that yesterday) and that HE sees us, and that HE has a plan, but these are things I know, not necessarily things that I am seeing.

So the ground is still shifting, and we don't know where we'll end up, and until then-- well, I don't really know. I know we'll be okay, though. And that's good enough for now. Hopefully our Spring is right around the corner.

on planning, expectations, and spring storms

The other night I was pretty excited about dinner. I had bought two beautiful artichokes on a day trip to St. Louis, MO (where I got a bunch of maternity clothes, including 5 light as air sundresses) at Whole Foods. I have never made artichokes, but that's part of the fun for me, so I got to work and went online to find a recipe. I found one for "stuffed artichokes," fulfilling my tendency (or, as Jeremy would call it, my maddening tendency) to choose a recipe I've never made or tasted before. So I set to work, got the artichokes going, got the Trader Joe's ravioli boiling, got the butter tomato sauce going... and, Jeremy was an hour and fifteen minutes late.

Deer in our front yard at 6 p.m.

One hour later

He did have a good excuse, but it did throw a teensy wrench into my dinner plans. As I waited for him, I turned down the lights (it was storming), lit some candles, turned off the television, and envisioned a quiet, romantic night, where we would converse excitedly at the table about our day and then cuddle on the couch and just enjoy each other's company.

Dinner was gross. I couldn't eat the artichokes or the ravioli. I think I had waited too long to eat, and so my stomach completely refused to participate in my romantic plans. A big part of it though, was that the artichokes had no flavor. Jeremy just ate the stuffing out of them (ew). I had some leftover cake that I doused in macerated strawberries and whipped cream. It was lackluster as well. Jeremy turned on the t.v. I crumpled onto the couch, which I abandoned for my bed not too long after. It was a pretty disappointing night.

It seems like whenever I plan or get my hopes up for something, it fails miserably. Here's the thing though: did I ever think to pray for Jeremy so that when he came home from work (after being gone for over 12 hours) he would be able to relax? I had been home all day long, doing whatever I wanted, watching PBS, reading, going for a walk, while he dealt with people at work, then people at Home Depot, then the storm, and yet I expected that he would just be wooed by the candlelight. I think I got him mixed up with someone else: me. What would have gotten him to relax? The t.v. on. Hamburgers and french fries. Maybe some ice cream. Helloo, Alanna. Maybe you could tell him what kind of night you're hoping it will be. I just miss it sometimes, you know?

The next night he came home sick from work. I made this and this. And it was fabulous. And then we went out and got shakes and then lolled around, watching a movie. It was much, much better, perhaps mostly so because I wasn't thinking of expectations fulfilled or denied. I just enjoyed being around him, running around in the storm, seeking out a milk chocolate shake.

And then the next night, last night, we unexpectedly were able to get two couple friends of ours to our favorite pizza place, where we ate and talked for two hours. Then he and I went to the grocery store, where I bought the biggest box of Lucky Charms I could find and he got ice cream. We came home and watched Modern Family on Hulu, cuddled up on the couch. Much more romantic than artichokes by candlelight. And much more fun because Jeremy was relaxed and happy, and I was able to just enjoy being with him.

finding out

the news is out: today we found out we're having a boy. We thought it might be a boy, but I tried very very hard to keep an open mind so that I wouldn't be disappointed if it was a girl. But it's not; it's a boy!

I never wanted to have a boy; I definitely wanted all girls, which is just so silly to think about now. But when I got pregnant, I had this little picture of a blonde, curly headed, sweet, chubby boy that I couldn't get out of my mind.

I am so so excited.

So excited that I have wept twice today, which was immediately preceded by my laughing so hard that I cried. I believe that's called hysterics. I am tired; mom and I went to St. Louis, MO yesterday to do some maternity shopping (6 dresses, 3 pairs of pants, and 3 shirts!!), and by the time the 12 hour trip ended, I was beyond exhausted. And then we got up this morning and found out we were having a boy (!), and, apparently, it was just too much for this pregnant lady. I'm barely functioning at this point, and it's only 6 p.m.

But, no matter how crazy I felt and acted today, we got to see our boy: his face and hands and lips and feet and heart. It was beautiful and wonderful and joyful. I just can't get over how excited I am that he's real.