Whole30. The beginning.

I'm sure that some of you have heard of the Paleo diet. It is, in its most simplistic terms, a diet focused on what humans would have eaten in paleolithic times: a diet focused on meat, vegetables, nuts, and seeds. This is not a post about Paleo.

This is a post about Whole30. Which, apparently, is thirty days given over to an strict form of the Paleo diet. I heard about it from some friends (hi, Mary!), and it seemed really similar to the GAPS diet, which I had researched a bit but had ultimately decided against, because of its strict guidelines. And now that I think about it, they're pretty much the same thing, if not in theory, in practice. But! The Whole30 is thirty days, and the GAPS diet is a more permanent endevour. Although, if we do this the right way, I'm hoping for a more permanent version of the Whole30. Which is Paleo. And pretty much GAPS.

Phew.

This is day three, and oh my goodness, we are feeling it. Feeling it so much that when I think about how much I could write about it, I almost gave up this blog post for now. No! I will push through! Maybe.

The gist: meat, veggies, eggs, seeds, nuts for thirty days. No soda, bread, sugar (in any form), cheese, oats, peanut butter, milk, black beans, quinoa, etc., for those thirty days. It's a detox if I've ever seen one. Coming off of sugar and bread is hard for Jeremy and I. But Elias? It's been crazy to watch him crave sugary things, and we eat pretty healthy most of the time! I told Jeremy that we would never crave a steak the way we've been craving brownies or ice cream or soda. It's an addiction I didn't even know we had, and it's been pretty sad evaluating our diet next to a truly healthy, life-giving diet. Elias is not following the tenets of the Whole30, he ate oatmeal this morning and is still drinking milk and eating cheese. But I want to see how he does gluten-free for awhile, because his behavior is sometimes so out of control. I'm wondering if his diet is a part of that. In addition, he hasn't had sugar in any other form that fruit in the last three days, and it has been a hard three days, people. It's all my fault though. I'm the one that makes his food. I need to hold myself to a higher standard to the food he expects on his plate. He wouldn't be craving it if I hadn't put it on there in the first place.

Anyway, we're in day three. And I wish it was totally over and that I could make a loaf of bread and eat it all with butter slathered on top. With some tea with honey on the side. I'm trying to have the perspective that working through these cravings is discipline, and discipline is good, even if it hurts.

And goodness-- this hurts.

treading water

Just came across this little poem again today:

     Promise me
you will not spend
  so much time
     treading water
and trying to keep your
  head above the waves
   that you forget,
truly forget,
  how much you have always
loved
   to swim.

--Tyler Knott Gregson

This morning was a water polo match's worth of treading water with Elias and Josiah. With a weekend away, dietary changes, and sickness, we're reeling from behavioral and physical difficulties, with both kiddos.

Dreaming of an afternoon of sweet playtime, help in the kitchen, reading books, and perhaps even a movie, all with the little boys of mine I love so much. I may get it; I probably will not. I know there will be easier, more fun-filled days, though, soon enough.

they get it all.

I am just going to go ahead and start writing to you like it's okay that I haven't posted anything here in almost three weeks. I am also going to refrain from apologizing, because, well, it's my blog, and I can do what I want to do.

Our life continues on. The days are a mixture of screaming and cuddling, puking and crying, eating and napping. I get to the end of my day, and it's like, oh-my-goodness-what-did-I-do-today. Parented. Cleaned. Cooked. Obsessed over E's approaching birthday party or that Josiah didn't poop, again. What I didn't realize about his parenting thing is that it's not just my body that I can't call my own anymore. It's not just my life. It's my mind, too.

And more than anything else, what always strikes me about this mommy thing, is that I live in it. I'm chin-deep in being a parent. When I worked or went to school, it was a big part of my life, sure, but then I could leave for a bit. Say, "excuse me," and go to a movie or something. But with kids, it's absolutely everything, especially because I stay home. This current season is almost mind-numbing in its all-encompassing reality. Two boys. TWO. Who was crazy enough to put me in charge of two human beings?

First game of Catch

Elias has been able to throw for awhile now, but not necessarily to anyone. He and Dada finally had their first, honest-to-goodness, game of Catch.

If you couldn't tell, he got a bit distracted by the camera... He's turning into such a ham. "CHEEEESE!"

Summertime play

There is nothing Elias likes to do more than to go outside. Walks, water play, throwing rocks... He loves it all. Sometimes I'll walk into a room to see him just standing at the window, looking out. If we are going out at all, we have to wait until we are totally ready to go before putting our shoes on, because once he sees them, it's all, "Bye-bye? Bye-bye? Bye-bye!!"

Anyway, I've been trying to get outside with him in the mornings while Josiah takes his good nap. We stick to the backyard, with his water table and the hose. He loves it.

A glimpse of our cloth diapers

We love BumGenius diapers. We use the Elemental ones for Elias and sometimes Josiah. Before Elias was born though, and before we had very many BG AIO's, I bought a load of prefold diapers to use with a cover. They work great, are super absorbent, and are crazy cheap (about $2.50 a diaper).

But they look like this (without the cover on):

I mean, really. They look like something an Appalachian baby might wear.

Birth announcement outtakes

This Josiah of ours-- he is so funny. We had such a hard time getting a good picture for his birth announcement... In fact, Jeremy doesn't think we got even one good one, but I have a few I think may work. 

He really is a beautiful baby. He just can't get it together for the camera ;-)