back to school

No, I'm not going back to school. I'm still staying at home with my babe, hopefully for a long time. But the other day, Sunday, I suddenly felt that longing to be back in classes, drinking coffee during early morning work, reading new literature with a new bespectacled professor, walking on campus in the approaching autumn air. Yum.

Jeremy hates this time. Even seeing the back to school commercials on television gives him a mild stomachache. But for me, it feels like new beginnings; it has a crispness, a cozy comfort to it. I do miss graduate school.

And so I'm trying to harness this feeling to help me begin again working on my thesis. I have not felt the inspiration for the project, and apparently my lack of discipline will not get me any further. Imagine that. If there's no romance to a project, then, for me, it probably won't get done. I need this magical school air to help me along.

3 more months

Yep. We found out this morning. The appraiser deemed our house "Not Finished Enough." We have three more months to finish it up.

So...there it is. It's plenty of time to do what we have left to do. And yet...

We wanted to put the period on to this long, run-on sentence. And hopefully, in three months we can do so. It's a disappointment for us, but only emotionally, I think. We really aren't going to do anything differently than we already were. The hard part is definitely over.

Thank you to everyone that helped like crazy during the frenzy of this last month/months/year/years. It's no exaggeration to say that we wouldn't be nearly as close to the end without you. I really, really, really couldn't begin to say how much we appreciate the family and friends who have stuck with us during this project.

photo credit: dn.jy productions

distant

You probably haven't noticed that I haven't posted lately, but I have. This blog flits in and out of my mind every once in awhile... and yet I haven't been able to bring myself to the computer to write a post.

I think it's because we're still in the same place that we have been for so long, and I can hear myself harping on "The House". Have you noticed that I don't call it "Our Home"? Or even, "Our House"? I have. It's still this thing that we're doing; a never ending project hanging over our heads. A perpetual full-time burden that we've been fighting against (with? for?) for over two years now.

So that's why I haven't written. I'm tired of talking about it, of explaining what it is that is so draining to/on us as a family, of being alternately defensive for our decision to buy, and a bully to our two-years-ago selves for what now seems like a miss. Or was it? Jeremy and I still haven't decided.

Our appraisal was yesterday. We're still waiting to find out what decision the bank makes-- done enough? Or still more work until they'll label it "finished" and give us a regular home loan and a freedom (mental and physical) to go on with our lives as mere homeowners instead of contractors? We hope to hear by the weekend.

It doesn't seem real yet, and it won't until we find out our fate. Regardless, "The House" is almost done, really and truly, and soon we'll be moving upstairs-- giving our boy his own space, full of color and room and, and, and. And Jeremy and I will finally have our space too. We can't wait to have a bedroom again, and a full-time marriage.

I hope that someday this house will have a new name. And I hope that the next time I write here, it will not be about anything but Elias, or a new recipe I've found, or how we've chosen to decorate our home. And hopefully, since I'll be writing about fun things, I won't be so distant from this place.