Tuesday, September 27, 2011
Saturday, September 24, 2011
Tuesday, September 20, 2011
18 days until my baby boy is less baby, more kid. E is turning one year old a couple Saturdays from now, and both Jeremy and I have begun that whole "Our baby isn't going to be a baby much longer" kind of thing that I imagine most all parents do. Jeremy has been more emotional than I've been so far, but I'm pretty sure it's because I'm repressing an ocean of heartache until the actual day of his birthday. That's just how I roll. Oops, just writing that created a bit of a leak, figuratively and literally.
My goodness, his first year is almost done. And with it, so many other things, too numerous to write down here.
What I'll miss:
His dependence on us. He loves to go to other people now, and enjoys the company of others. And I know that will continue more and more, as he starts to have a life apart from us.
Nursing. He's still going strong, don't get me wrong, but it's less frequently now, and not as sweet as before, unless he's sleepy. He's usually smacking me or trying to grab his feet, and my. goodness. those. teeth.
Cuddling with him. I think this will come back, but for now that kid wants to MOVE. In the morning, when WE are feeling most cuddly, he's just psyched to see his toys after being away from them all night.
I don't know... He was my BABY. And now he's getting to be a little boy. And while I've made the decision to embrace his growing up, to celebrate the upcoming year with all our might on the 8th, it's the past year that will be on my mind too. And I don't think that will change in the coming years.
And I really do want to celebrate his getting older. He's going to be a fine boy and a good man someday. And I am looking forward to getting to know him more and more and more.
And yet, tears for now.
Tuesday, August 23, 2011
Friday, August 19, 2011
Wednesday, August 17, 2011
Wednesday, July 20, 2011
Monday, June 20, 2011
I'm sitting here at this computer, willing myself not to fall asleep before 8 p.m. Last night was the first night E did a good job sleeping in a long time. But! I'm so used to being up with him, I couldn't fall asleep or stay asleep. Sigh. We'll see how tonight goes.
Friday, June 3, 2011
Monday, May 16, 2011
Tuesday, April 26, 2011
Saturday, April 9, 2011
Monday, March 28, 2011
when they go to St. Louis, and hit up Trader Joe's, and by chance see your wedding flowers for sale--
Tuesday, March 8, 2011
Wednesday, March 2, 2011
Saturday, February 19, 2011
This last year and a half, this is what life has felt like. What we thought would be a fun little trip out to sea turned quickly into a nightmare. This does not mean that we were not supposed to buy our house or renovate it as we have, because we both feel that was the right decision. Of course "right" does not equal "easy", which I had not necessarily known before now.
I've just finished reading through Job, and a lot of the conversation is about how Job's "fall" is due to some hidden sin. And, no, Job was not without sin, but he always did his very best to follow God, and up to this point God had accepted him. And God still accepted him ("Shall we accept good from God, and not trouble?" he asks his wife), although it didn't look like it. And this year, it has not seemed like God was on our side. It has not always seemed that He was sending help. It did not always seem that He cared. It was not always clear whether or not we would survive it, that he would sustain us. And this is all because of how things looked. They were not easy. They were not fun, not even close to it. And I had always thought that if we were in God's will, that things would just come together. Very often that is what it looks like, but many times it just isn't so.
I have a good friend who is getting married very soon. To many people at the wedding, it may seem like everything has always been sunny and easy for them, and they may be jealous or feel badly about their own situation because of it. They would be wrong. She has waited for him for years, only to come together and then be apart for another year. It was a hard, hard year. It did not always seem like God was doing anything; it did not often feel like He cared; it did not seem like He knew how hard this was for her. But the whole time He was working, working, working. And they are to be married in just a few months. And to be around her right now is to be swept up in a happy heart.
I have to believe that God was working, working, working this last year and a half. In us and through us and around us. And it isn't over yet, because the house isn't finished yet. We'll be downstairs for awhile while the upstairs is getting finished. But we've rounded the curve.
We'll begin moving in this next week. And we have happy, happy hearts.
(The picture above is a print we got for Elias' new room. It's a bit morbid, I know. But that's us. The kid never had a chance.)