rest

So often I forget to take time to myself. And when I do, I don't know what to fill that time with. Most of my friends have kids too, and so when Jeremy suggests I leave on a Friday night for a couple of hours, I usually turn him down. What am I going to do, go to Barnes and Noble and read magazines? By myself? No, thanks.

My friend Barbara sent me a message this week, encouraging me to take care of myself, that I'm not all Mommy, all the time. To nourish myself too. Can I be honest and say I've forgotten how? How is it that my oldest kid is only 2 1/2, and I can't think of anything I'd like to do on the off chance I get some free time? I see how women get lost in their families.

I do enjoy solitude. I am, most positively, an introvert, and being around others all day long without a break is a miserable prospect for me. So when naptime is disrupted or doesn't go to plan, I can get pretty angry, like I'm entitled to it, or something. Oh, but I feel like I need it. And there, right there, is the problem. Reconciling the need for solitude, for rest, for my own nourishment, with the reality of having two young children. Sometimes I get it, sometimes I don't.

I've often heard of the advice to wake up before your kids to get some time to meditate and prepare for the day. I really, really wish that could work for me, but Elias was up at 5:30 this morning. I was up with Josiah from ten till midnight, and then again at three to nurse him. Obviously, that's not going to work.

So self-nourishment for me, for right now, is this, I guess: taking an opportunity to sleep when I can (without feeling any guilt). Turning off my phone and the television when they go down for naptime so that I can feel the solitude. Revel in it. Meditate and pray in that time. Be quiet. Make a bracing cup of tea so that I don't nod off and miss all that alone time ;-)

What about you? What do you do to nourish yourself? Give me some ideas!