Feed yo'self, Mama

I've written lately about rest, and being aware, and nourishing ourselves. You know a great way to start doing this? Actually feeding yourself. I know. This is an idea that's mind-blowing in its complexity.

There are days when I literally eat out of the pan I used to cook lunch, hovering over the stove with a fork, while I make sure to get E fed before his nap. There are days when I eat peas and hot dogs for lunch, and nothing else. There have even been days where I'm not hungry come lunch time because I have -- get this -- been eating the scraps off numerous plates of Elias' food that morning. I obviously do not have to tell you that this is not good for me, physically or emotionally.

I've been trying to change that up lately. I buy the expensive hot dogs, grass-fed, nitrite free, etc. And still, I cannot have another hot dog for lunch. Ever. Ever, never, ever. So if that's what E wants, that's fine. I'll open a can of tuna or salmon and put it on some greens for me. Whip up a quick viniagrette. And I sit down with him, and made a point of eating myself. It's just as important for Mama to get fed as it is the toddler.

And can I say, for you carnivores out there, that perhaps your lunch should include meat? It's made a world of difference for me. I certainly don't mind not eating meat at every meal, but when I eat it at lunch, I find it very fortifying. It also reminds me that I'm worth a real meal in the middle of the day. I make sure Jeremy gets what he needs, and I'd never send him various scraps from E's various meals/ snacks of the morning. Why would I think that would be okay for me?

The above (badly photographed) picture is a meal I had last week that I would repeat daily if I could. Chili with butternut squash, sweet potato chips with guacamole. That's right: I made myself guacamole at 11 am. And it was awesome.