ample opportunity

Anyone else have a bad attitude about waking up? I'm not really a morning person, but I'm definitely not a night owl either... I like peaceful mornings, mornings filled with the aroma of freshly brewed coffee, NPR's Morning Edition on the radio, mist above the wet grass outside.

What did this morning look like? Elias knocking loudly on his door at 5:45 am. Jeremy sleeping through it. Josiah sleeping lightly, so that that I had to get up just in order to get E to stop knocking, so that the baby wouldn't wake up too. I told Elias he couldn't get up yet... so he started crying. Changing his diaper in his bed, praying with him, leaving him there and heading back to my bed. Where I fumed. How dare Elias wake up that early? How dare Jeremy sleep through it, especially since I had already been up with Josiah, twice, in the night?

I've talked a little bit about Loving the Little Years: Motherhood in the Trenches before; it's such a good (nonfiction) book about motherhood. She delves into this idea somewhere, where we as moms can go ahead and stop being angry about not getting enough sleep, because-- guess what? It doesn't help. We aren't going to get a lot of sleep for awhile, as in years. So why get mad about it?

Elias wakes up excited-- excited to see Daddy and Mommy and Josiah. Excited to eat breakfast and drink his milk with a straw. Excited to watch Curious George and to play with his tractor. Excited to see what the day will bring, knowing that he's going to have fun. My attitude couldn't be further from this. I wake up tired-- and a little mad about being tired-- knowing that I'm going to have to get Elias, to change diapers, to fix breakfast, to do, to do, to do.

I laid in bed this morning-- I knew Elias wasn't going to back to sleep, and neither was I-- praying about my attitude. I want to wake up in the morning and be excited-- excited to see Elias and Josiah. Excited about getting my first hug from Jeremy. Excited about my first cup of coffee and eat whatever yummy thing I had in store for breakfast. Excited to spend the day outside with my boys, discovering and playing and cuddling. Excited for whatever small but sweet time I had to spend with the Lord. Why am I not more excited?

I'm pretty sure it's my attitude that says it's too hard-- whatever is in store for me today is too hard, too much work. My goodness, what a lie that is. Because it must not be too hard (at least, not most days!), since I do it every day. And every day I make it to the end. So it's not too hard-- it's just my life. And a pretty good one, I'd say.

I'm going to work this attitude thing out, you guys. I don't want to miss one more beautiful morning with these three boys of mine.