Tuesday, May 18, 2010

back to "normal"

I don't know quite what I mean by normal, by the way. It is not necessarily normal for me to not have a job, or even to just be on break from school. It is not normal for me to go for a walk when Jeremy leaves in the morning and then come back, shower, paint my toenails, and make some toast slathered with goat cheese and apple butter. But it does feel normal. Or maybe the word I'm looking for is Awesome. I'm getting back to Awesome, because now I can have a clean home, and folded laundry, and fresh sheets, and a refrigerator that doesn't smell like garbage.

And maybe a nap. Because, my goodness, walking is not the graceful, effortless exercise it once was.

I realize how lucky I am. I know that most women don't have this opportunity, and I am so thankful for the life I get to live right now. And I know that, because this is my life, that Jeremy's life is much, much harder. That takes a lot of the fun out of it, but it makes me get off the couch in the morning and spend the day making our apartment as peaceful and warm for him as I can, while I can, since I know that when Baby comes, things will be very different. Until then, I'm going to try to enjoy this time, this summer, and morning walks followed by goat cheese and apple butter as much as I can.

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