Thursday, May 6, 2010

flying high-- almost.

I feel like a tethered ballon, with ropes holding me tight to the earth, with the promise that one by one, they'll be untied.

I had my last class of graduate school last night, and as good as it was to leave class, it was a little bittersweet. I really enjoyed grad school, discussing literature and history and politics and philosophy. I don't have anywhere else in my life that stretches me to think, and then to think more deeply, until it hurts sometimes.

I have my thesis still, and a few things to finish up, grading and such, until I am officially finished, of course. But I do feel like I'm saying goodbye to something that was really good for me, and something that I hope to be a part of again someday.

I do feel a little strangely giddy though, kind of exhilarated by the new freedom I feel. Like a balloon that has had one rope untied and is sort of bobbling about, still mostly secure. I'm wondering what new thing is waiting in the skies... and hoping it's adventure.


  1. wow

    I so get your image. It is perfect. I actually felt a little choked up at your realization of the finality of the part of the grad program that you liked. I would have loved it too...I would have loved simply to be invisible and listen to your discussions. I can tell you that parenthood is an adventure. I can tell you that you will change in ways you CAN NOT expect. You will see everything in new light: yourself, marriage, children, your future, the reasons for so so so so many things. It is not the same as school...and I am praying that Jesus gives you a "next" thing that satisfies that (perhaps without homework and a thesis)

  2. by the way...I love you Alanna! You give me so much joy. I adore your writing. I am so very proud of you!


    I am eternally grateful that you are my friend, and my children's friend.

  3. Congratulations are in order for MANY things huh? Where have I been?

    Now that I have found you here, I'll keep a closer watch.

    (if you are looking for adventure . . . milking a cow and butchering chickens aren't that far away!)