Thursday, May 6, 2010

flying high-- almost.



















I feel like a tethered ballon, with ropes holding me tight to the earth, with the promise that one by one, they'll be untied.

I had my last class of graduate school last night, and as good as it was to leave class, it was a little bittersweet. I really enjoyed grad school, discussing literature and history and politics and philosophy. I don't have anywhere else in my life that stretches me to think, and then to think more deeply, until it hurts sometimes.

I have my thesis still, and a few things to finish up, grading and such, until I am officially finished, of course. But I do feel like I'm saying goodbye to something that was really good for me, and something that I hope to be a part of again someday.

I do feel a little strangely giddy though, kind of exhilarated by the new freedom I feel. Like a balloon that has had one rope untied and is sort of bobbling about, still mostly secure. I'm wondering what new thing is waiting in the skies... and hoping it's adventure.

3 comments:

  1. wow
    wow
    wow!!!

    I so get your image. It is perfect. I actually felt a little choked up at your realization of the finality of the part of the grad program that you liked. I would have loved it too...I would have loved simply to be invisible and listen to your discussions. I can tell you that parenthood is an adventure. I can tell you that you will change in ways you CAN NOT expect. You will see everything in new light: yourself, marriage, children, your future, the reasons for so so so so many things. It is not the same as school...and I am praying that Jesus gives you a "next" thing that satisfies that (perhaps without homework and a thesis)

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  2. by the way...I love you Alanna! You give me so much joy. I adore your writing. I am so very proud of you!

    AND

    I am eternally grateful that you are my friend, and my children's friend.

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  3. Congratulations are in order for MANY things huh? Where have I been?

    Now that I have found you here, I'll keep a closer watch.

    (if you are looking for adventure . . . milking a cow and butchering chickens aren't that far away!)

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