Advent

And here we are-- in the last week before Christmas. Each year it sneaks up on me, although I've tried harder to savor the season this year. In my head, I see us ending the day reading through an advent book, candles lit, quiet Christmas music on, dwelling in the peace of knowing our Saviour is born. In reality though, the ceiling lights are blazing, the television has Elmo's Christmas special on, and we're trying to just get the boys down to bed before they become totally unmanageable. And then we clean up after the day and prepare for the next. Not really the Advent season I had pictured!

I know that these times aren't forever-- there will be time in the future when our kids, then they're more mature, can handle learning more about the season. So I'm attempting it now, at least, this very moment, by myself. It is quiet here in the living room, and the Christmas tree is lit. I will ask God to prepare my heart to fully celebrate the miracle of this season, and of His life in us, in me. As crazy and chaotic as my life seems, my heart is totally at peace, folks. I am saved; I am rescued; I have found the One my heart loves. I am grateful that the Father sent us Jesus.

A week left.

I can't really believe how long it's been since I've written here. Would you believe me if I told you I hadn't had the time lately? It's mostly true. Of course, I have spare moments here and there, but I usually use those to figure out what I'm going to do next, or bemoan my hectic day. Not time well spent, of course, but time spent regardless.

It's been a hard few days. Elias is getting a molar in, and Josiah has a cold. Both of these lead to less sleep at night AND during the day. I haven't had an hour to myself in awhile, and I'm one of those people that needs to be by myself at least a little bit each day. Or mama gets a little cray-cray.

It's the first sunny day here in awhile, and when the boys wake up from their nap (which I expect to be soon, sadly), we're going to bundle up a little bit and take a walk to the post office to send some Christmas gifts to my family out west. Nothing fancy-- just some food gifts, wrapped in a way to make them feel a little more special, I hope.

Merry The-Week-Before Christmas, all.

This little guy.

He is so sweet, you guys. All smiles and chub and grunts and grins all the time.

My only complaint... he does not sleep well at night. But even this is not that bad. I get plenty of chances to hold him in the quiet of night, his long, leftover newborn hair tickling my cheek, his soft breathing in my ear. We hold hands in bed at three a.m. while he nurses, and he's barely awake when I get him up to burp him. Limp with milk, he nuzzles hard into my should while I cuddle him back to sleep.

He's almost six months old. I know now how quickly this baby thing goes. I'm enjoying it as much as I possibly can.

Stopping to smell the...

Pumpkins. So much pumpkin roasting going on over here. Eating "paleo" and fresh pumpkin go hand in hand. So far we've had pancakes, doughnuts, pie, etc., that have had a healthy dose of pumpkin or squash.

I think I've gotten a little more "okay" with the idea of Autumn. I certainly took my time, but I'm enjoying the warm Fall menu...

Sidenote: Oh glory, I just heard Elias. He has apparently woken up an hour early from his nap. This does not bode well for our afternoon...

Where was I? Oh, yes. Fall foods, cardigans, and... Well, that's it. But that's better than I was a month ago when I was so cross about Summer's end!

I can't believe Christmas is right around the corner. Anyone want to come take a picture of two tired parents and their very active young boys for their Christmas card? ;-)

A saturday morning

(Goodness, I can't believe it's been a month since I've posted...)

Good Saturday morning :) We are watching the Curious George movie, eating scrambled eggs and this pumpkin bar --with raisins-- (so good!), and enjoying a lazy morning after quite a few hectic ones. Today is one of the last Farmers Markets of the season, where I plan on stocking up on some winter squash, since it goes so well with paleo eating, and then on to the Co-op, where I'm picking up our free-ish range 12 lb turkey. I plan on roasting it and freezing a lot of it for eating over this winter. We also have some birthday stuff going on (Tuesday is Jeremy's and my birthday). I'm going to try to pick up some decorations for the house for the holiday season. I love decorations but am usually such a failure at getting them up in my own home.

So, yes, a full weekend, but it's all ours. Pretty different than a year ago, when it was still all about the house renovations. Still so thankful for our family time.

I'm hoping that you all are getting a lovely weekend to look forward to, as well.

Whole30. The beginning.

I'm sure that some of you have heard of the Paleo diet. It is, in its most simplistic terms, a diet focused on what humans would have eaten in paleolithic times: a diet focused on meat, vegetables, nuts, and seeds. This is not a post about Paleo.

This is a post about Whole30. Which, apparently, is thirty days given over to an strict form of the Paleo diet. I heard about it from some friends (hi, Mary!), and it seemed really similar to the GAPS diet, which I had researched a bit but had ultimately decided against, because of its strict guidelines. And now that I think about it, they're pretty much the same thing, if not in theory, in practice. But! The Whole30 is thirty days, and the GAPS diet is a more permanent endevour. Although, if we do this the right way, I'm hoping for a more permanent version of the Whole30. Which is Paleo. And pretty much GAPS.

Phew.

This is day three, and oh my goodness, we are feeling it. Feeling it so much that when I think about how much I could write about it, I almost gave up this blog post for now. No! I will push through! Maybe.

The gist: meat, veggies, eggs, seeds, nuts for thirty days. No soda, bread, sugar (in any form), cheese, oats, peanut butter, milk, black beans, quinoa, etc., for those thirty days. It's a detox if I've ever seen one. Coming off of sugar and bread is hard for Jeremy and I. But Elias? It's been crazy to watch him crave sugary things, and we eat pretty healthy most of the time! I told Jeremy that we would never crave a steak the way we've been craving brownies or ice cream or soda. It's an addiction I didn't even know we had, and it's been pretty sad evaluating our diet next to a truly healthy, life-giving diet. Elias is not following the tenets of the Whole30, he ate oatmeal this morning and is still drinking milk and eating cheese. But I want to see how he does gluten-free for awhile, because his behavior is sometimes so out of control. I'm wondering if his diet is a part of that. In addition, he hasn't had sugar in any other form that fruit in the last three days, and it has been a hard three days, people. It's all my fault though. I'm the one that makes his food. I need to hold myself to a higher standard to the food he expects on his plate. He wouldn't be craving it if I hadn't put it on there in the first place.

Anyway, we're in day three. And I wish it was totally over and that I could make a loaf of bread and eat it all with butter slathered on top. With some tea with honey on the side. I'm trying to have the perspective that working through these cravings is discipline, and discipline is good, even if it hurts.

And goodness-- this hurts.

treading water

Just came across this little poem again today:

     Promise me
you will not spend
  so much time
     treading water
and trying to keep your
  head above the waves
   that you forget,
truly forget,
  how much you have always
loved
   to swim.

--Tyler Knott Gregson

This morning was a water polo match's worth of treading water with Elias and Josiah. With a weekend away, dietary changes, and sickness, we're reeling from behavioral and physical difficulties, with both kiddos.

Dreaming of an afternoon of sweet playtime, help in the kitchen, reading books, and perhaps even a movie, all with the little boys of mine I love so much. I may get it; I probably will not. I know there will be easier, more fun-filled days, though, soon enough.